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by UndercoverAlice
Summary: Martha reflects on her relationship with Jack while he's missing out at sea. MJ fic Spoilers for week 27.


_A/N: Another on of my one shots that i wrote a while back. Based on spoilers from week 27, so just a small warning if you haven't seen the episode._

Rain falls heavily outside, the wind shaking the window so fiercely you step back. It's storming outside, like you've never seen before and tucking the blanket around yourself, you snuggle up grateful to be inside. Rolling over, you sigh glancing at the empty space beside you. Nothing has seemed normal or easy over these past few months, but it is not something you have or hope to be accustomed to.

A phone rings and you answer hearing Sal's voice on the line. Normally quiet and soothing, it surprises you to hear the worry and anxiousness in her voice. You listen to her, one sentence engraved in your mind

"They haven't come home"

* * *

Faint light filters through the curtain, showing signs of a clear and perfect day-a far cry from weather the night before. It's around…six o'clock in the morning and, regardless of the light outside you should be up, outside just like on a normal day.

But it isn't. You wonder why you feel so tired and restless. The realization comes to you that all night, you have lain awake listening for the phone to ring. Waiting for someone to call and ease your worry.

The phone has been silent all night.

* * *

You were happy once upon a time. Life seemed easy, work was normal; routine. Shifts at the bar weren't exactly your dream job but that was okay because you had him. After you made so many screw ups, so many mistakes you were together. _Finally_. The words repeat themselves over and over again in your head. That was what everyone seemed to say when you held his hand at the diner; what his words were after he kissed you on the cliffs and turned your whole world upside down. He made you feel happy. 

After finally managing to get up, you trudge to the kitchen to get breakfast started. The fridge is empty, save for the few eggs and milk, which you don't dare to touch. He almost always made you breakfast. Every morning you'd get up to find him cooking something; the smells would waft around the kitchen. You'd come up behind him, he'd smile and make some joke about you cooking, as he would. He'd never let you live down Bacon and Eggs with Maple syrup.

Staring at fridge, you realize you don't have the stomach for any food.

* * *

Seven o'clock comes and goes, seeing you at Sally's house. At the table it is just you, Sally, Leah and Cassie. Nothing is said of the empty chairs that surround you; nobody eats On a normal day this house would be filled with an uproar of people; talk of coming events, of food sizzling in the pan and laughter…so much laughter. Now, as you sit here it is clear to you that another sound has taken its place. Silence.

Unable to stand it, you decide to take a walk and clear your head. You gaze out onto the sea because maybe you can spot the tiny boat from this far; maybe if you catch just a glimpse of it, it will be enough reassurance to you that everything will be all right. But all you see is endless blue water and you turn away before you can break.

* * *

You remember the first time you told him you loved him. It was a simple realization that came to you one morning, one that just washed over you like a gentle breeze. One that made you realize that this was more than a simple mutual attraction between two people. He brought out feelings in you that you couldn't even dream of, that you never thought possible. No one else had made you feel quite the way he did, so alive and exhilarated. But you couldn't say it to him, because what if he didn't feel the same way or wasn't ready to say it back? It drove you crazy for next few weeks, made you struggle not to say it every time he was near you or every time you saw him. 

And then the cyclone hit throwing everything into pieces. He was with you, arms wrapped tightly around your shoulders whispering that everything would be Ok. Looking up at him and ignoring the insecurities that had plagued you, you took a chance telling him how you really felt. His eyes had glistened as you shyly repeated them, rewarding you with a smile that made your heart swell. No other words were need because you exactly how he felt.

Sitting on the sand now, you realize it's been 8 months, 21 days and three hours since you last told him you loved him.

* * *

Your footsteps are slow and deliberate as you walk quietly back to the apartment. Nothing will have changed in the past hour at Sal's house and as much as you want to be part of the rescue team, you can't seem to find the strength.

The apartment is dark and silent. Your key in the lock, you rest your head against the door, closing your eyes.

You just want them to come home. Brad, Grandad, Ric, Dan. And Jack. The fighting, the lies and games that have gone on have left you tired. You want things to go back to the way were, like last week at the beach. To take back the hurtful remarks and insults that were thrown and you can't do that if they don't come back.

It's inside your apartment that you get halfway across the living room before tears start to leak out of your eyes, and another half second when you collapse on the couch.

Because wherever you've been today, being in all the places you've been today, don't feel right. Down to the beach, around the parks, up on the cliffs; it doesn't matter to you go because all you can see is him.

Being in this apartment doesn't make you feel any better either. For all the memories you've shared with him, in the end it's just an apartment, not home. Without him lying beside you at night, his cooking and the way his arms feel around you, this isn't home.

The phone rings and you try to ignore it, but it's shrill persistent ring, sounds on and on.

Composing yourself, your voice is manages a shaky hello as you finally answer .The line is silent for a moment before Sal's voice sounds on the other end.

* * *

"They've found them"

The hospital is filled with noise and bustle. You're sure on that way that you've broken the speed limit and just about every other road rule. Cutting and weaving between cars, people had glared at you from behind their windscreens, but you paid no attention because all that matters is them

Pushing your way through the crowds of people, you see familiar faces. Dan with Leah; Sally, hugging Brad. Grandad and Ric. You hug them both, glad there all right, but your distracted. His face is nowhere to be seen, and for one terrible moment you think something has happened.

But all thoughts are ground to halt as you see him walking around the corridor. At the far end, he stands, talking quietly with Lucas. In those few moments when he looks up, you freeze. Unable to breathe, your hand covers your mouth as you finally manage to walk towards him. Throwing your arms around him, you knock him off slightly off balance, startling him, as he breathes out "Martha"

You murmur his name in reply, and as his arms envelope around you, you inhale deeply, closing your eyes. You've found home.


End file.
